Author's note: The long awaited chapter is finally up! I'll make sure that chapter 11 is out sooner. Also, it would mean a lot if you guys could email me your opinions on 'Simplicity' so far and what you think of my characters at sarah_hashmi@rocketmail.com. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy this chapter!
What was she doing
here? And with him of all people! The way he looked
at me? Fucking asshole thinks he can just walk back into my life like that.
And the look on Isla’s face too, the confusion when she saw me with Alyssa and
Iago. Although I’m pretty sure she was more confused when Jasper got up.
“Alex, hold up!” Isla’s voice echoed through the empty, snow-covered street. I kept on walking. There was just no point in talking to her. Then again, I’d like to know what the fuck she was doing with Jasper. I heard a thud and small cry from behind me. Of course she fell. She can barely walk on carpet, let alone snow. I let out a sigh and turned around to see her brushing snow off her tights and sweater. “You alright?” I asked.
“I’m fine. What about you?” She gave me a meaningful look. “Cause you looked like you wanted to kill Jasper just now, and then you looked like you saw a ghost when you saw that he was with me.” She was clasping her hands together. Whether it was because she was worried or because she was cold I don’t know, but her cheeks had gone pink and she was chewing on her bottom lip.
I just stood there staring at her for a good few minutes. She was slightly breathless, so she had probably jogged after me. She’s never really had any stamina. Sport was never her thing but since she didn’t eat all that much she never gained weight. I let out a sigh. “Why were you with him?” Her eyes widened slightly. “Because he’s my friend, Alex.” She said it as if it was the most obvious, most natural thing to say. Because he’s my friend. “That’s usually why people hang out together.” She continued. Her tone was dry and factual, with a hint of irritation and confusion there as well. But I just looked at her, my mouth slightly ajar. She’s friends with Jasper…. No, she can’t possibly be friends with him. I told him to stay away from her, why didn’t he listen to me? I did tell her he was fucked up, I did warn her. Why, why would she go for coffee with him then? Just like that, like we would. “Isla, no.” She’s joking right…. She’s not friends with him…It’s not possible…He’s not going to steal her away from me, that’s not happening. He’ll hurt her. “You can’t be friends with him. You absolutely cannot do that.” I grabbed her shoulders but she shrugged me off.
“Uh, sorry to burst your bubble there Alex, but I’ll be friends with whoever I want.” Her tone was blunt. Doesn’t she get it? Does she seriously not understand what she’s getting herself into?
“No.” I matched my tone with hers, taking in a deep breathe to calm my frantic thoughts.
“What do you mean ‘no’? You don’t have a say in this! I’m not a child Alex, I don’t need your permission to be friends with someone.” It was like she wasn’t really listening to me, like she didn’t understand what I was trying to say. All that she could hear was me saying that she wasn’t allowed to be his friend. She was waving her hands about now, trying to illustrate her point. She’d raised her voice too but there’s no way that I’m going to let Jasper steal her away.
“Isla, no. I don’t care what you say but-”
“And I don’t care what you say!”
“Isla, listen to me dammit! Why are you being so stubborn? You have other friends; just go to coffee with them! But please stay away from Jasper, I’m just trying to tell you that he’s bad news.”
“I have two friends Alex. Two! You being one and Jasper being the other. So if you have a problem with that then you can go fuck yourself cause I really don’t give a shit what you think of him! I’m not giving up my only other friend just because you say he’s bad news!”
People passing by were awkwardly glancing towards us, probably assuming that this was a lover’s quarrel. Was it? I looked back at Isla. I saw the tears of frustration streaming down her face. Great, now look what you’ve done.
“Isla, look-” I tried to reason but she cut me off.
“No.” She said, while wiping her tears “You look.” She turned around and started speed walking back towards the café, nearly slipping as she went along.
“Fucking hell!” I sat down on the bench behind me, throwing my head into my hands.
Now look what I’ve done. I’ve ruined everything. Why didn’t I just tell her why Jasper’s bad news? If I told her…she’d understand wouldn’t she? But would she stop and listen to me? No, it’s pointless. She won’t listen to me now.
I could hear Alex swearing behind me as I made my way to the bus shelter next to the café. Why am I crying? Is it because he got mad at me or is because you’re mad at him for telling you not to be friends with Jasper? Maybe it’s because you know that he might be right. But why should I have to listen to him if he’s not even going to give me any reasons? I pushed the thoughts out of my head and tried to calm myself down.
He wasn’t being fair. Alex has always had friends, even back in his anti-social days. Sure, the crowd wasn’t the best back then, but he wasn’t alone in his room all day waiting for the only friend he had to come hang out. I was. I’d be alone for hours, lost in my own thoughts; my sad, pitiful and lonely thoughts. Sometimes I’d dance around my room and sing then I’d fall onto my bed and cry until Alex would come. He never knew because whenever I saw him I’d be filled with joy. The time I spent with him was the only time that I was ever really happy. But now will he come spend time with you? Will he come and make you happy since after all of these years….you replaced him?
“I did not replace him.” I said firmly to myself, my tone sharp and defiant.
“S-so, who is it that you did not replace?” Wiping away my tears, I whirled around and saw the tall, skinny boy who was at the Café with Alex. His shoulders were hunched over and he was leaning against a wall, awkwardly picking at the ends of his already torn-up sweater sleeves.
I looked at his face and when I saw his large, blue eyes with their tiny pupils I recognized him from somewhere. But….from where? So to avoid his question I fired one back at him.
“Do I know you from somewhere? You look extremely familiar.” His awkward way of standing, the accent, the eyes. Isla, think….where have you met this boy before?
“Oh good. You recog-” He paused for a minute and coughed into the sleeve of his jumper “You recognize me.” He grinned largely and moved off the wall. Despite his awkward posture, he resembled a cat when he moved; his light blue eyes and large grin reminding me of the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland; his lean body elegant as he walked.
I felt slightly uncomfortable. Just like Cheshire, he had a mischievous air to him as if he had some hidden agenda. It felt like he wanted me to feel as awkward he feels, as if for some strange reason he doesn’t like me and wants me to feel uncomfortable.
“Yes, I do, but where have we met before?” Calm down Isla, he’s just some random guy who’s friends with Alex and Jasper. And then I realised something. If he’s friends with both of them….He would know why they hate each other. He’d know something.
“C-come on. Take a wild guess.” He moved even closer now, pretty much standing over me, a rich smell of tobacco flowing from him mouth.
Where have you seen him before? That accent…those eyes? And then it hit me.
“You’re that guy. The guy who was standing beside Alex’s apartment a few weeks back, when he was hooking up with that girl.” To my surprise, I’d spat out that last bit with a fairly bitter tone; the awkward boy was smiling with delight as I did.
“My name is Iago Ch-chavez. Alyssa, the girl you mentioned with so much dist-taste” he winked at me and continued “was the girl with Alexander and I. And you; your name is Isla Craig.”
Okay…. Alyssa is the pretty blonde. He’s a creepy Spanish guy and he calls Alex “Alexander”. Right.
“I’m assuming Alex is the one who told you my name?”
“Oh he t-told me more than just your name. When he’s drunk, you’re all he talks about.”
For some strange reason my stomach flipped and I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, warming my skin. Iago chuckled, and then had a coughing fit into his sleeve. He looked at me then at the floor, the tiny bit of confidence he had slipping away.
“Right. What exactly has he told you?” I leaned back casually against a lamp post, trying to seem as calm and collected as possible.
“How about you ask him yours-self, it’s not my place to tell you. Besides, that’s not what you really want to know.” He paused, looking me in the eyes and then smiling his Cheshire-like smile again. “You want to know why Alexander left the c-café when he saw Jasper. I-I-isn’t that right?” “Well I wouldn’t mind knowing both.” I said.
“And you thought that he actually tru-usted you. Cute. Alexander doesn’t trust people, you should know why. Or did he not tell you that either?” He laughed at me. “You should see the look on your face. Like you’ve just been kicked in the stomach.”
I stood there staring at him; not saying a word.
He’s right. Alex never really tells you anything. You think he does but, it’s always just you talking isn’t it? You rambling on and on about god knows what and him listening to you. For hours on end it’s him listening to you and you walking away like you’ve learned something new about the guy. But how’s that possible, when he barely even spoke in a conversation you dominated. Has it always been that way?
“I-I better go.” I continued walking towards the bus stop, my head a mess of incomprehensible thoughts.
The snow had soaked through my boots and my feet felt like they were made of ice. My hands were numb too but my cheeks were burning.
I reached the bus stop just in time, when I arrived I saw the 47 drive up. The bus driver was old, in his late sixties probably. Why he’s driving a bus in the winter, I don’t know. Probably just as sick of his life as I am of my own. He nodded at me as I scanned my bus card and I nodded back with a weak smile.
The snow had gotten pretty thick, falling down around me and making my clothes damp. My skin was itching under my wool sweater, and my fingers were cold and numb and dry. Once Isla had stormed off I’d sat down on the bench just thinking about how stupid I was. I shouldn’t have spoken to her like that. What must she have felt like, when I was standing over her, yelling at her like that? But sometimes the people we love need to be protected, even if that means trying to tell them what to do. It still feels awful though, I can still remember the pain in her voice and the hurt in her tear filled eyes. But I can’t have her fall down the same dark hole that I did. I can’t let her become someone like I was before.
I stood up off the bench, brushing the snow off from my jeans and running a frozen hand through my damp hair. I started walking back the way I came, looking down at my boots as they sunk into the already ankle-deep snow. The street was quiet and empty but I could still hear my voice echoing through my head, I could still see Isla storming off. I wonder if she made it home okay? Are the buses still running or did she have to walk? Maybe she called Rick and he came to get her? I looked up at the sky and the snow falling all around me. New York is always so beautiful when it snows, especially in small quiet areas like this. The small shop window on my right was reflecting the white snow and making things seem so much brighter. I could see myself in the window too. My skin was pale and my blonde hair was dark and damp, sticking to my forehead slightly. When I looked through the glass I realised I was standing in front of the Café. My body stiffened.
Jasper may still be in there. I might as well solve this while I can. I walked into the coffee shop, warmth entering my frozen body and the sweet scent of chocolate and cinnamon filling the air around me. Jasper was still sitting at his table, picking at a half-eaten chocolate-chip muffin when he saw me. A grin flashed across his face and his blue-green eyes widened knowingly as a shiver ran down my spine. I didn’t think it was possible for him to get even creepier.
“Alex. Come to lecture me, have you?” He took a large bite out of his muffin and gave me a patronizing smile. “Are you going to tell me to switch schools? Tell me to disappear from your life again?” I tried to keep my voice calm and steady. “Why was she with you?” I sat down in the chair opposite him and leaned back, balancing the chair on its back legs while not breaking eye contact. When it comes to Jasper, any one of your emotions can betray your thoughts, so it’s always best if you never showed them.
“Oh, so you’re not going to tell me to switch schools and to never be within 50ft of you again. That makes this slightly less exciting.” He took another bite out of his muffin. His tone was casual, cool. “And what is it to you if I have coffee with someone?”
“She’s not someone Jasper. Why were you with her?”
I was clenching my fist under the table, trying to keep as calm as possible. I’m not very good at keeping my emotions in check, especially when it comes to this bastard. Whenever I see that smug look on his face I feel like bashing it straight through a wall. After everything this fucker has put me through, he deserves his teeth to be knocked out.
“Oh.” He grinned and he chuckled. “So that’s why you’re pissed off. You like her.” His grin grew. “But why? You’re Mr Popular aren’t you? You have girls hanging around you all the time. Why this one? The girl who no one notices?”
“Just because no one else notices her, doesn’t mean I don’t. Jasper, you know very well who she is, I told you about her back when we were-” friends. I choked on the word, guilt and regret filling me like it did whenever I thought of the time when I’d hung out with him, of all the stupid things we did. All that regret.
“You did? Hold on... She’s that girl?” A look of surprise crossed his face as he remembered our old conversations and he laughed with disbelief. “The one you said that could light up a room just by smiling, who could make you turn and stare in awe at…how did you put it again? The beauty of her presence?”
I could feel every word he spoke stab me like a knife. I’d never really spoken about Isla in front of anyone except for Jasper. I’d never told him her name, never described her completely. Just small things about her. He was never all that interested though, Jasper just liked knowing things. Information was power with him. I’d never said any of the things he’s rambling on about though. At least not when I was sober anyway.
Only by gritting my teeth and clenching my fist did I manage to hold in my frustration. My head was pounding and my mind screaming at me to leave. Nothing is going to come from this conversation except humiliation and regret.
“You want me to stay away from your little piece of meat, is that it?” He picked up his coffee and took a long sip, finishing it off with a sigh. “Well you do know that I don’t care, right? I like her, she’s a good way for me to kill time while I hang around here.” He smirked at me, his eyes glinting with laughter. Great, I just made things worse, didn’t I? He didn’t even realise who Isla was. I doubt he even realised we knew each other. Fuck.
A beeping noise sounded from his pocket and he retrieved his phone and chuckled. He didn’t even need to say who it was, I knew by the look he through my way. “Guess someone wants some answers.” He winked at me and got up to leave. I sat there, watching him as he put on his jacket and pushed in his chair. “You’ve become such a bore. I would have expected you to have done something much more…drastic. It’s too bad.”
And then he walked off, leaving me sitting there at the table, feeling like an idiot. What’s the point in any of this? How can I keep him away from Isla when she doesn’t even understand how much damage he can do? Why did I even bother coming here? Nothing has changed. If anything I’ve made things worse.
“Fuck it.” I banged my fists on the table, the dishes shaking and the remains on Jasper’s muffin falling to the floor. The few people in the shop were suddenly silent as a waitress walked over to my table; her features like stone.
“Sir, if you don’t mind.” She said in the most civil tone she could muster. Her glare was set on me and her chubby fingers pointed towards the exit. She was a small, plump woman who could pass as 35 but was probably around 28. Years of kicking out loud costumers like me making her just as bitter as the coffee she brewed every day.
I stood up and walked out of the shop like a robot, no feelings, and no thoughts.
“Alex, hold up!” Isla’s voice echoed through the empty, snow-covered street. I kept on walking. There was just no point in talking to her. Then again, I’d like to know what the fuck she was doing with Jasper. I heard a thud and small cry from behind me. Of course she fell. She can barely walk on carpet, let alone snow. I let out a sigh and turned around to see her brushing snow off her tights and sweater. “You alright?” I asked.
“I’m fine. What about you?” She gave me a meaningful look. “Cause you looked like you wanted to kill Jasper just now, and then you looked like you saw a ghost when you saw that he was with me.” She was clasping her hands together. Whether it was because she was worried or because she was cold I don’t know, but her cheeks had gone pink and she was chewing on her bottom lip.
I just stood there staring at her for a good few minutes. She was slightly breathless, so she had probably jogged after me. She’s never really had any stamina. Sport was never her thing but since she didn’t eat all that much she never gained weight. I let out a sigh. “Why were you with him?” Her eyes widened slightly. “Because he’s my friend, Alex.” She said it as if it was the most obvious, most natural thing to say. Because he’s my friend. “That’s usually why people hang out together.” She continued. Her tone was dry and factual, with a hint of irritation and confusion there as well. But I just looked at her, my mouth slightly ajar. She’s friends with Jasper…. No, she can’t possibly be friends with him. I told him to stay away from her, why didn’t he listen to me? I did tell her he was fucked up, I did warn her. Why, why would she go for coffee with him then? Just like that, like we would. “Isla, no.” She’s joking right…. She’s not friends with him…It’s not possible…He’s not going to steal her away from me, that’s not happening. He’ll hurt her. “You can’t be friends with him. You absolutely cannot do that.” I grabbed her shoulders but she shrugged me off.
“Uh, sorry to burst your bubble there Alex, but I’ll be friends with whoever I want.” Her tone was blunt. Doesn’t she get it? Does she seriously not understand what she’s getting herself into?
“No.” I matched my tone with hers, taking in a deep breathe to calm my frantic thoughts.
“What do you mean ‘no’? You don’t have a say in this! I’m not a child Alex, I don’t need your permission to be friends with someone.” It was like she wasn’t really listening to me, like she didn’t understand what I was trying to say. All that she could hear was me saying that she wasn’t allowed to be his friend. She was waving her hands about now, trying to illustrate her point. She’d raised her voice too but there’s no way that I’m going to let Jasper steal her away.
“Isla, no. I don’t care what you say but-”
“And I don’t care what you say!”
“Isla, listen to me dammit! Why are you being so stubborn? You have other friends; just go to coffee with them! But please stay away from Jasper, I’m just trying to tell you that he’s bad news.”
“I have two friends Alex. Two! You being one and Jasper being the other. So if you have a problem with that then you can go fuck yourself cause I really don’t give a shit what you think of him! I’m not giving up my only other friend just because you say he’s bad news!”
People passing by were awkwardly glancing towards us, probably assuming that this was a lover’s quarrel. Was it? I looked back at Isla. I saw the tears of frustration streaming down her face. Great, now look what you’ve done.
“Isla, look-” I tried to reason but she cut me off.
“No.” She said, while wiping her tears “You look.” She turned around and started speed walking back towards the café, nearly slipping as she went along.
“Fucking hell!” I sat down on the bench behind me, throwing my head into my hands.
Now look what I’ve done. I’ve ruined everything. Why didn’t I just tell her why Jasper’s bad news? If I told her…she’d understand wouldn’t she? But would she stop and listen to me? No, it’s pointless. She won’t listen to me now.
I could hear Alex swearing behind me as I made my way to the bus shelter next to the café. Why am I crying? Is it because he got mad at me or is because you’re mad at him for telling you not to be friends with Jasper? Maybe it’s because you know that he might be right. But why should I have to listen to him if he’s not even going to give me any reasons? I pushed the thoughts out of my head and tried to calm myself down.
He wasn’t being fair. Alex has always had friends, even back in his anti-social days. Sure, the crowd wasn’t the best back then, but he wasn’t alone in his room all day waiting for the only friend he had to come hang out. I was. I’d be alone for hours, lost in my own thoughts; my sad, pitiful and lonely thoughts. Sometimes I’d dance around my room and sing then I’d fall onto my bed and cry until Alex would come. He never knew because whenever I saw him I’d be filled with joy. The time I spent with him was the only time that I was ever really happy. But now will he come spend time with you? Will he come and make you happy since after all of these years….you replaced him?
“I did not replace him.” I said firmly to myself, my tone sharp and defiant.
“S-so, who is it that you did not replace?” Wiping away my tears, I whirled around and saw the tall, skinny boy who was at the Café with Alex. His shoulders were hunched over and he was leaning against a wall, awkwardly picking at the ends of his already torn-up sweater sleeves.
I looked at his face and when I saw his large, blue eyes with their tiny pupils I recognized him from somewhere. But….from where? So to avoid his question I fired one back at him.
“Do I know you from somewhere? You look extremely familiar.” His awkward way of standing, the accent, the eyes. Isla, think….where have you met this boy before?
“Oh good. You recog-” He paused for a minute and coughed into the sleeve of his jumper “You recognize me.” He grinned largely and moved off the wall. Despite his awkward posture, he resembled a cat when he moved; his light blue eyes and large grin reminding me of the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland; his lean body elegant as he walked.
I felt slightly uncomfortable. Just like Cheshire, he had a mischievous air to him as if he had some hidden agenda. It felt like he wanted me to feel as awkward he feels, as if for some strange reason he doesn’t like me and wants me to feel uncomfortable.
“Yes, I do, but where have we met before?” Calm down Isla, he’s just some random guy who’s friends with Alex and Jasper. And then I realised something. If he’s friends with both of them….He would know why they hate each other. He’d know something.
“C-come on. Take a wild guess.” He moved even closer now, pretty much standing over me, a rich smell of tobacco flowing from him mouth.
Where have you seen him before? That accent…those eyes? And then it hit me.
“You’re that guy. The guy who was standing beside Alex’s apartment a few weeks back, when he was hooking up with that girl.” To my surprise, I’d spat out that last bit with a fairly bitter tone; the awkward boy was smiling with delight as I did.
“My name is Iago Ch-chavez. Alyssa, the girl you mentioned with so much dist-taste” he winked at me and continued “was the girl with Alexander and I. And you; your name is Isla Craig.”
Okay…. Alyssa is the pretty blonde. He’s a creepy Spanish guy and he calls Alex “Alexander”. Right.
“I’m assuming Alex is the one who told you my name?”
“Oh he t-told me more than just your name. When he’s drunk, you’re all he talks about.”
For some strange reason my stomach flipped and I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, warming my skin. Iago chuckled, and then had a coughing fit into his sleeve. He looked at me then at the floor, the tiny bit of confidence he had slipping away.
“Right. What exactly has he told you?” I leaned back casually against a lamp post, trying to seem as calm and collected as possible.
“How about you ask him yours-self, it’s not my place to tell you. Besides, that’s not what you really want to know.” He paused, looking me in the eyes and then smiling his Cheshire-like smile again. “You want to know why Alexander left the c-café when he saw Jasper. I-I-isn’t that right?” “Well I wouldn’t mind knowing both.” I said.
“And you thought that he actually tru-usted you. Cute. Alexander doesn’t trust people, you should know why. Or did he not tell you that either?” He laughed at me. “You should see the look on your face. Like you’ve just been kicked in the stomach.”
I stood there staring at him; not saying a word.
He’s right. Alex never really tells you anything. You think he does but, it’s always just you talking isn’t it? You rambling on and on about god knows what and him listening to you. For hours on end it’s him listening to you and you walking away like you’ve learned something new about the guy. But how’s that possible, when he barely even spoke in a conversation you dominated. Has it always been that way?
“I-I better go.” I continued walking towards the bus stop, my head a mess of incomprehensible thoughts.
The snow had soaked through my boots and my feet felt like they were made of ice. My hands were numb too but my cheeks were burning.
I reached the bus stop just in time, when I arrived I saw the 47 drive up. The bus driver was old, in his late sixties probably. Why he’s driving a bus in the winter, I don’t know. Probably just as sick of his life as I am of my own. He nodded at me as I scanned my bus card and I nodded back with a weak smile.
The snow had gotten pretty thick, falling down around me and making my clothes damp. My skin was itching under my wool sweater, and my fingers were cold and numb and dry. Once Isla had stormed off I’d sat down on the bench just thinking about how stupid I was. I shouldn’t have spoken to her like that. What must she have felt like, when I was standing over her, yelling at her like that? But sometimes the people we love need to be protected, even if that means trying to tell them what to do. It still feels awful though, I can still remember the pain in her voice and the hurt in her tear filled eyes. But I can’t have her fall down the same dark hole that I did. I can’t let her become someone like I was before.
I stood up off the bench, brushing the snow off from my jeans and running a frozen hand through my damp hair. I started walking back the way I came, looking down at my boots as they sunk into the already ankle-deep snow. The street was quiet and empty but I could still hear my voice echoing through my head, I could still see Isla storming off. I wonder if she made it home okay? Are the buses still running or did she have to walk? Maybe she called Rick and he came to get her? I looked up at the sky and the snow falling all around me. New York is always so beautiful when it snows, especially in small quiet areas like this. The small shop window on my right was reflecting the white snow and making things seem so much brighter. I could see myself in the window too. My skin was pale and my blonde hair was dark and damp, sticking to my forehead slightly. When I looked through the glass I realised I was standing in front of the Café. My body stiffened.
Jasper may still be in there. I might as well solve this while I can. I walked into the coffee shop, warmth entering my frozen body and the sweet scent of chocolate and cinnamon filling the air around me. Jasper was still sitting at his table, picking at a half-eaten chocolate-chip muffin when he saw me. A grin flashed across his face and his blue-green eyes widened knowingly as a shiver ran down my spine. I didn’t think it was possible for him to get even creepier.
“Alex. Come to lecture me, have you?” He took a large bite out of his muffin and gave me a patronizing smile. “Are you going to tell me to switch schools? Tell me to disappear from your life again?” I tried to keep my voice calm and steady. “Why was she with you?” I sat down in the chair opposite him and leaned back, balancing the chair on its back legs while not breaking eye contact. When it comes to Jasper, any one of your emotions can betray your thoughts, so it’s always best if you never showed them.
“Oh, so you’re not going to tell me to switch schools and to never be within 50ft of you again. That makes this slightly less exciting.” He took another bite out of his muffin. His tone was casual, cool. “And what is it to you if I have coffee with someone?”
“She’s not someone Jasper. Why were you with her?”
I was clenching my fist under the table, trying to keep as calm as possible. I’m not very good at keeping my emotions in check, especially when it comes to this bastard. Whenever I see that smug look on his face I feel like bashing it straight through a wall. After everything this fucker has put me through, he deserves his teeth to be knocked out.
“Oh.” He grinned and he chuckled. “So that’s why you’re pissed off. You like her.” His grin grew. “But why? You’re Mr Popular aren’t you? You have girls hanging around you all the time. Why this one? The girl who no one notices?”
“Just because no one else notices her, doesn’t mean I don’t. Jasper, you know very well who she is, I told you about her back when we were-” friends. I choked on the word, guilt and regret filling me like it did whenever I thought of the time when I’d hung out with him, of all the stupid things we did. All that regret.
“You did? Hold on... She’s that girl?” A look of surprise crossed his face as he remembered our old conversations and he laughed with disbelief. “The one you said that could light up a room just by smiling, who could make you turn and stare in awe at…how did you put it again? The beauty of her presence?”
I could feel every word he spoke stab me like a knife. I’d never really spoken about Isla in front of anyone except for Jasper. I’d never told him her name, never described her completely. Just small things about her. He was never all that interested though, Jasper just liked knowing things. Information was power with him. I’d never said any of the things he’s rambling on about though. At least not when I was sober anyway.
Only by gritting my teeth and clenching my fist did I manage to hold in my frustration. My head was pounding and my mind screaming at me to leave. Nothing is going to come from this conversation except humiliation and regret.
“You want me to stay away from your little piece of meat, is that it?” He picked up his coffee and took a long sip, finishing it off with a sigh. “Well you do know that I don’t care, right? I like her, she’s a good way for me to kill time while I hang around here.” He smirked at me, his eyes glinting with laughter. Great, I just made things worse, didn’t I? He didn’t even realise who Isla was. I doubt he even realised we knew each other. Fuck.
A beeping noise sounded from his pocket and he retrieved his phone and chuckled. He didn’t even need to say who it was, I knew by the look he through my way. “Guess someone wants some answers.” He winked at me and got up to leave. I sat there, watching him as he put on his jacket and pushed in his chair. “You’ve become such a bore. I would have expected you to have done something much more…drastic. It’s too bad.”
And then he walked off, leaving me sitting there at the table, feeling like an idiot. What’s the point in any of this? How can I keep him away from Isla when she doesn’t even understand how much damage he can do? Why did I even bother coming here? Nothing has changed. If anything I’ve made things worse.
“Fuck it.” I banged my fists on the table, the dishes shaking and the remains on Jasper’s muffin falling to the floor. The few people in the shop were suddenly silent as a waitress walked over to my table; her features like stone.
“Sir, if you don’t mind.” She said in the most civil tone she could muster. Her glare was set on me and her chubby fingers pointed towards the exit. She was a small, plump woman who could pass as 35 but was probably around 28. Years of kicking out loud costumers like me making her just as bitter as the coffee she brewed every day.
I stood up and walked out of the shop like a robot, no feelings, and no thoughts.
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