I sat there staring at him blankly. That can’t be right, can
it? He’d told me that he had cut off all ties with that group, now he’s telling
me that the person I just saw him kissing isn’t his girlfriend but one of the
people who fucked up his life. But I know him. I can see that he’s scared. He
doesn’t want to fall into that dark pit again, but he’s afraid he might.
“Isla say something.” I ran my fingers through my hair and shook my head. His face was tight and expectant; looking at me anxiously like a child who just confessed to breaking something. I suppose he did break something. He broke his promise to not only me but to himself. He’d promised that he’d never have anything to do with them again.
“Please Isla.”
“How can I say anything when I don’t even know what’s going on?”
Alex stood up and started pacing, he always paced when he’s trying to think of the right words to say.
“I don’t know if I should tell you.” He mumbled and continued “What if you get mad at me?”
He couldn’t stop fidgeting; his hands were pulling at the sleeves.
“I’m not going to get mad at you, Alex.”
“But, what if I told you I’ve gone back? What if I told you that I’ve been hanging around Alyssa for a while now?” He looked over at me, his words flowing out quickly.
“How long is a while?” I have the feeling that I’m not going to like what I hear. Maybe I should ask him more once he’s calmed down, I can see him getting frustrated. His hands are balled up in fists; his muscles tight.
“A few months now. She came by the house and said she missed me, she said everyone missed me. I haven’t seen anyone except for her and Simon though.”
“Are you doing drugs again?”
He hesitated, processing the question and replying with a well thought out “Yes.”
I let out a long, disappointed sigh and stood up. I just don’t know what to think or what to say. It’s all quite simple really but it’s a lot to take in.
“I’m gonna go for a walk. I’ll see you later, Alex.” I grabbed my portfolio and walked out of him room, leaving his apartment and walking back towards the park.
“Isla say something.” I ran my fingers through my hair and shook my head. His face was tight and expectant; looking at me anxiously like a child who just confessed to breaking something. I suppose he did break something. He broke his promise to not only me but to himself. He’d promised that he’d never have anything to do with them again.
“Please Isla.”
“How can I say anything when I don’t even know what’s going on?”
Alex stood up and started pacing, he always paced when he’s trying to think of the right words to say.
“I don’t know if I should tell you.” He mumbled and continued “What if you get mad at me?”
He couldn’t stop fidgeting; his hands were pulling at the sleeves.
“I’m not going to get mad at you, Alex.”
“But, what if I told you I’ve gone back? What if I told you that I’ve been hanging around Alyssa for a while now?” He looked over at me, his words flowing out quickly.
“How long is a while?” I have the feeling that I’m not going to like what I hear. Maybe I should ask him more once he’s calmed down, I can see him getting frustrated. His hands are balled up in fists; his muscles tight.
“A few months now. She came by the house and said she missed me, she said everyone missed me. I haven’t seen anyone except for her and Simon though.”
“Are you doing drugs again?”
He hesitated, processing the question and replying with a well thought out “Yes.”
I let out a long, disappointed sigh and stood up. I just don’t know what to think or what to say. It’s all quite simple really but it’s a lot to take in.
“I’m gonna go for a walk. I’ll see you later, Alex.” I grabbed my portfolio and walked out of him room, leaving his apartment and walking back towards the park.
It’s cold tonight; I can see my breath in the air puffing
out like smoke. I’m not sure what to think of what’s happening with Alex, I’m
angry but I’m not at the same time. I feel bad for him, he’d made it almost a
year since he’d gone clean.
“You know, it’s not safe for you to walking out here all alone at night.” The voice was familiar and matched a familiar face. It took me a second to realize it was Jasper.
“Well, you’re alone too.” I retorted.
“Yes, but I’m not a girl.” He smiled. He was leaning against one of the many leafless trees lining the left side of the pavement. He was holding a camera and his you could hear the monotone beep whenever he pressed a button.
“You should also be more aware of who’s taking your photos.”
He pointed the camera screen in my direction and flicked through five photos. They were all of me; two from just now and the other three from earlier. The last one even had Alex in the background. The photos have a light and feathery feel to them, almost as if they’d been taken out of some dream.
“I-I, um…why exactly did you take photos of me?”
He smiled and took the camera back.
“Because I had my camera and you happened to be around. I’ve been in the park for hours, most of my days are spent taking photos of people who don’t even know they’re being photographed.”
“That’s a little creepy, don’t you think?” Well he’s definitely normal.
“No, I don’t think it’s creepy at all. People are quite beautiful and should be seen at every single angle. That works best when they’re moving fluidly rather than posing.” He smiled again, looking at the photos on his camera as if they were his greatest treasures.
“So, Isla, how come you’re out all here all by yourself?”
He leaned against the tree behind him and slit down it’s trunk, planting himself at the base of the tree.
“I just needed some fresh air.”
He patted the grass beside him and I reluctantly walked over.
“You stressed about something?” his voice has a hint of concern and his eyes twinkled with curiosity. What’s with him? I’ve barely known him a day.
“Um no, not really. Just out for a walk.” Which is a total lie, the whole thing with Alex is wearing me out but, it’s not my place to talk about his problems with someone I barely know.
I wanted time alone to think things through, find out how I was going to help Alex but, I guess that won’t be happening tonight. I let out a long sigh and decided it would be a good idea to spark a conversation.
“Do you live around here?” It was the first thing that came to mind so, I asked.
“No, I live a while away from here. You?” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
“Yeah, Newtown Park Apartment Complex just around there.” I pointed in its general direction and looked back at him while trying to ignore the smell of smoke.
“Ah, I know those apartments well, used to go there often when I was younger. Want a smoke?” He offered the packet to me; I could smell the dry stench of the tobacco.
“No, I’m alright, I don’t smoke.” He raised an eyebrow at me and shrugged.
“Fair enough, more for me.” He placed another cigarette between his lips; the previous one a sizzling stump.
“I don’t see how you can take that, it smells rotten.” I grimaced as he blew smoke in my face and he just laughed and said:
“Live a little, Isla. It’s just one life and this is just one cigarette.” He took another pull and leaned his head back against the tree.
“Thanks for the offer and words of wisdom but like I said, I don’t smoke. So, you enjoy yourself there.” Right, he’s a smoker. Not a plus point but hey, we all have our vices. Though there is something about him, something I just can’t pinpoint that gives me a chill down my back. He just has this air of danger to him; I don’t know it’s hard to explain. He makes me so curious.
“How come you moved to NYAA half way through term?” I fell back and lay on the grass, my head resting against my portfolio.
“It’s a long and complicated story, but it’s also extremely boring. Wouldn’t interest a bright mind like yours.”
“Well, that’s no problem since I have plenty of time.” I stretched my legs and retracted them again; curling up in the grass like Homer does when he’s cold.
“You may have time but, I don’t. It’s nearly twelve and I’ve got somewhere to be, so-” He grabbed my hand and helped me up off the ground. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow and we can continue our conversation then.”
His hands were rough and cold with silver scars decorating the backs. When he pulled me up I realized that he’s actually much larger than Alex; his shoulders are broader and his arm muscles more prominent.
“Right, I’ll see you later then.” I said as he turned away.
He was cutting through the park to get passed the other gate. I assume he’s heading for the subway station since that’s the easiest way to get there.
I don’t think he’s going to tell me why he moved. Well, I suppose I wouldn’t have either if I were him. He doesn’t know me so why would he tell me anything? Maybe it is just something boring like him moving in from another country or him just wanting to go to NYAA. After all, it is renowned for its students becoming successful in the arts and he clearly has a love for the visual.
“Well, that was interesting.” I mumbled to myself, staring after him. I picked up my portfolio off the ground and walked back in the direction of home.
“You know, it’s not safe for you to walking out here all alone at night.” The voice was familiar and matched a familiar face. It took me a second to realize it was Jasper.
“Well, you’re alone too.” I retorted.
“Yes, but I’m not a girl.” He smiled. He was leaning against one of the many leafless trees lining the left side of the pavement. He was holding a camera and his you could hear the monotone beep whenever he pressed a button.
“You should also be more aware of who’s taking your photos.”
He pointed the camera screen in my direction and flicked through five photos. They were all of me; two from just now and the other three from earlier. The last one even had Alex in the background. The photos have a light and feathery feel to them, almost as if they’d been taken out of some dream.
“I-I, um…why exactly did you take photos of me?”
He smiled and took the camera back.
“Because I had my camera and you happened to be around. I’ve been in the park for hours, most of my days are spent taking photos of people who don’t even know they’re being photographed.”
“That’s a little creepy, don’t you think?” Well he’s definitely normal.
“No, I don’t think it’s creepy at all. People are quite beautiful and should be seen at every single angle. That works best when they’re moving fluidly rather than posing.” He smiled again, looking at the photos on his camera as if they were his greatest treasures.
“So, Isla, how come you’re out all here all by yourself?”
He leaned against the tree behind him and slit down it’s trunk, planting himself at the base of the tree.
“I just needed some fresh air.”
He patted the grass beside him and I reluctantly walked over.
“You stressed about something?” his voice has a hint of concern and his eyes twinkled with curiosity. What’s with him? I’ve barely known him a day.
“Um no, not really. Just out for a walk.” Which is a total lie, the whole thing with Alex is wearing me out but, it’s not my place to talk about his problems with someone I barely know.
I wanted time alone to think things through, find out how I was going to help Alex but, I guess that won’t be happening tonight. I let out a long sigh and decided it would be a good idea to spark a conversation.
“Do you live around here?” It was the first thing that came to mind so, I asked.
“No, I live a while away from here. You?” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
“Yeah, Newtown Park Apartment Complex just around there.” I pointed in its general direction and looked back at him while trying to ignore the smell of smoke.
“Ah, I know those apartments well, used to go there often when I was younger. Want a smoke?” He offered the packet to me; I could smell the dry stench of the tobacco.
“No, I’m alright, I don’t smoke.” He raised an eyebrow at me and shrugged.
“Fair enough, more for me.” He placed another cigarette between his lips; the previous one a sizzling stump.
“I don’t see how you can take that, it smells rotten.” I grimaced as he blew smoke in my face and he just laughed and said:
“Live a little, Isla. It’s just one life and this is just one cigarette.” He took another pull and leaned his head back against the tree.
“Thanks for the offer and words of wisdom but like I said, I don’t smoke. So, you enjoy yourself there.” Right, he’s a smoker. Not a plus point but hey, we all have our vices. Though there is something about him, something I just can’t pinpoint that gives me a chill down my back. He just has this air of danger to him; I don’t know it’s hard to explain. He makes me so curious.
“How come you moved to NYAA half way through term?” I fell back and lay on the grass, my head resting against my portfolio.
“It’s a long and complicated story, but it’s also extremely boring. Wouldn’t interest a bright mind like yours.”
“Well, that’s no problem since I have plenty of time.” I stretched my legs and retracted them again; curling up in the grass like Homer does when he’s cold.
“You may have time but, I don’t. It’s nearly twelve and I’ve got somewhere to be, so-” He grabbed my hand and helped me up off the ground. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow and we can continue our conversation then.”
His hands were rough and cold with silver scars decorating the backs. When he pulled me up I realized that he’s actually much larger than Alex; his shoulders are broader and his arm muscles more prominent.
“Right, I’ll see you later then.” I said as he turned away.
He was cutting through the park to get passed the other gate. I assume he’s heading for the subway station since that’s the easiest way to get there.
I don’t think he’s going to tell me why he moved. Well, I suppose I wouldn’t have either if I were him. He doesn’t know me so why would he tell me anything? Maybe it is just something boring like him moving in from another country or him just wanting to go to NYAA. After all, it is renowned for its students becoming successful in the arts and he clearly has a love for the visual.
“Well, that was interesting.” I mumbled to myself, staring after him. I picked up my portfolio off the ground and walked back in the direction of home.
-*-*-*-*-*-
The hot water rained down from the shower head, hammering
around me like a storm. I’d been in the shower for about ten minutes before I got
interrupted by Alex, banging on the bathroom door. He opened it just a crack
and stuck his head in. I yelled at him to get out from behind the shower
curtain but he came in instead.
“Relax, I can’t see you and I’m not even interested in seeing you naked.” I could hear him rummaging through the cabinet that held Homer’s food.
“Alex, get out! And I’ve already fed Homer!”
“Well, I’m giving him more. Just hurry up or Mr.Doran’ll give us hell.” Blaming me for us being late, as per usual.
“I would have been out by now if you didn’t come in while I was in the shower!” I heard the creak of the door closing and then the only sound was that of the pouring water “He’s such an idiot.”
I let out a long sigh and turned the water off. A towel poked through the shower curtain scaring the shit out of me and making me jump back.
“Towel, M’lady?” He was trying hard not to explode with laughter; you could hear it in his voice. He probably even has his other hand over his mouth.
“Alex, get the fuck out!” I turned the shower back on and aimed it at him through the gap in the curtain.
“Bitch, you soaked the cat!” Alex was laughing and I heard Homer meow and grumble irritably “Oh that was fun. Okay, I’m getting out now. I’ll be in the kitchen.”
He chuckled to himself and I heard the door click shut; I poked my head around the curtains to double-check if he’d actually left this time. I dashed to the door and locked it, relieved that I can finally dry off.
“Every year.” I let out a sigh and laughed a little.
Every year on November 2nd he’d play a prank on me and then make it up to me with a birthday cake from Martha’s Cake-house; I assume this year is no different.
I wrapped the towel around my hair like a turban and got dressed. I pulled on a pair of dark-blue jeans and an oversized black jumper with the print of a white crown in the centre. I put on my jewellery and eyeliner then towel dried my long, red hair.
“Yoo-hoo!” It was Alex again. He knocked on the door and I opened it, greeting me with a tight hug
“Happy eighteenth, Isla.” He smiled at me and gave me a kiss on the cheek then he dragged me into the kitchen where a large, white box labelled ‘Martha’s Cakes’ sat on the counter.
I opened it to see a plain white iced cake with a red heart in the centre. It was simple and cute and looked absolutely delicious.
“Since you don’t have a heart, I thought I’d give you one.” He ruffled my hair and we laughed. I poked my finger into the red icing and rubbed it off on his nose.
“Now you look like the clown you really are.”
He went cross-eyed, looking at the icing and tried to lick it off with his tongue.
“Hold on, I just want to say hey to the strangers across the hall.” I walked over to Edith’s door and waited patiently after ringing the bell.
Rick answered and he was holding a small, blue cupcake with a single red candle in it.
“Happy birthday, kiddo!” He gave me a big hug and said that Edith had already left to drop Joanie to school but she’ll see me at dinner.
“Relax, I can’t see you and I’m not even interested in seeing you naked.” I could hear him rummaging through the cabinet that held Homer’s food.
“Alex, get out! And I’ve already fed Homer!”
“Well, I’m giving him more. Just hurry up or Mr.Doran’ll give us hell.” Blaming me for us being late, as per usual.
“I would have been out by now if you didn’t come in while I was in the shower!” I heard the creak of the door closing and then the only sound was that of the pouring water “He’s such an idiot.”
I let out a long sigh and turned the water off. A towel poked through the shower curtain scaring the shit out of me and making me jump back.
“Towel, M’lady?” He was trying hard not to explode with laughter; you could hear it in his voice. He probably even has his other hand over his mouth.
“Alex, get the fuck out!” I turned the shower back on and aimed it at him through the gap in the curtain.
“Bitch, you soaked the cat!” Alex was laughing and I heard Homer meow and grumble irritably “Oh that was fun. Okay, I’m getting out now. I’ll be in the kitchen.”
He chuckled to himself and I heard the door click shut; I poked my head around the curtains to double-check if he’d actually left this time. I dashed to the door and locked it, relieved that I can finally dry off.
“Every year.” I let out a sigh and laughed a little.
Every year on November 2nd he’d play a prank on me and then make it up to me with a birthday cake from Martha’s Cake-house; I assume this year is no different.
I wrapped the towel around my hair like a turban and got dressed. I pulled on a pair of dark-blue jeans and an oversized black jumper with the print of a white crown in the centre. I put on my jewellery and eyeliner then towel dried my long, red hair.
“Yoo-hoo!” It was Alex again. He knocked on the door and I opened it, greeting me with a tight hug
“Happy eighteenth, Isla.” He smiled at me and gave me a kiss on the cheek then he dragged me into the kitchen where a large, white box labelled ‘Martha’s Cakes’ sat on the counter.
I opened it to see a plain white iced cake with a red heart in the centre. It was simple and cute and looked absolutely delicious.
“Since you don’t have a heart, I thought I’d give you one.” He ruffled my hair and we laughed. I poked my finger into the red icing and rubbed it off on his nose.
“Now you look like the clown you really are.”
He went cross-eyed, looking at the icing and tried to lick it off with his tongue.
“Hold on, I just want to say hey to the strangers across the hall.” I walked over to Edith’s door and waited patiently after ringing the bell.
Rick answered and he was holding a small, blue cupcake with a single red candle in it.
“Happy birthday, kiddo!” He gave me a big hug and said that Edith had already left to drop Joanie to school but she’ll see me at dinner.
The morning passed by in a rush and it was lunch before I’d
realized it. I walked out onto the fields and perched myself down on the grass.
“Mind if I join you? My posse don’t seem to be interested in me today.” He was towering above me; his shadow blocking out the winter sun.
“You? Alone? That’s a rare opportunity during school so I’ll take it; sit.”
He sat down beside me, folding his long body and shrinking down to my size.
“By the way, are you free tonight?” I looked over at him expectantly; with his busy life, who knows.
“Well, yeah. It’s your birthday so I haven’t made any plans, what’s up?”
Good, he’s free. I don’t know why, but I just had the feeling that he’d be doing something tonight.
“It’s just the usual. With the cake and video games and all down at Edith’s so, come.”
“I plan to. Little Big Planet?” He winked at me and I nodded with a large grin on my face.
We sat there eating out lunches until he said;
“About the whole Alys’ before he could even get halfway through his sentence his phone began to buzz furiously in his pocket “Hold on a sec, Isla.” He stood up and took a few steps.
“Hello? Oh, hey. No. What? Now?” he let out a long sigh and continued “Alright. Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.” He hung up and made a series of irritated grunting noises.
“I’ve gotta go, student council shit. I’ll you later, alright? We’ve got French later so I’ll sit with you.” He jogged off in the direction of block F, leaving me by myself in the school yard.
He’s always so busy, and here I thought I might get to spend my birthday with him at school. I get lonely sometimes. Except for Alex, my only other friend is Homer and he’s not even human. Even though Alex says I stand out, I don’t. If I left school and showed up a month later, the only ones who’d notice would be him and Ms.Riley. Ms.Riley is the head of the art department and my favourite teacher. She’s a short, pudgy lady who wears square glasses too big for her face.
“Mind if I join you? My posse don’t seem to be interested in me today.” He was towering above me; his shadow blocking out the winter sun.
“You? Alone? That’s a rare opportunity during school so I’ll take it; sit.”
He sat down beside me, folding his long body and shrinking down to my size.
“By the way, are you free tonight?” I looked over at him expectantly; with his busy life, who knows.
“Well, yeah. It’s your birthday so I haven’t made any plans, what’s up?”
Good, he’s free. I don’t know why, but I just had the feeling that he’d be doing something tonight.
“It’s just the usual. With the cake and video games and all down at Edith’s so, come.”
“I plan to. Little Big Planet?” He winked at me and I nodded with a large grin on my face.
We sat there eating out lunches until he said;
“About the whole Alys’ before he could even get halfway through his sentence his phone began to buzz furiously in his pocket “Hold on a sec, Isla.” He stood up and took a few steps.
“Hello? Oh, hey. No. What? Now?” he let out a long sigh and continued “Alright. Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.” He hung up and made a series of irritated grunting noises.
“I’ve gotta go, student council shit. I’ll you later, alright? We’ve got French later so I’ll sit with you.” He jogged off in the direction of block F, leaving me by myself in the school yard.
He’s always so busy, and here I thought I might get to spend my birthday with him at school. I get lonely sometimes. Except for Alex, my only other friend is Homer and he’s not even human. Even though Alex says I stand out, I don’t. If I left school and showed up a month later, the only ones who’d notice would be him and Ms.Riley. Ms.Riley is the head of the art department and my favourite teacher. She’s a short, pudgy lady who wears square glasses too big for her face.
The bell went and I lifted my bag-pack off the floor and
followed the flow of students. Then I saw that people were forming a circle and
you could hear the chant of an oncoming fight.
“Head to class. This has nothing to do with any of you.”
It was Alex’s voice; harsh and strict. The chant thinned out along with the crowd and I pushed my tiny body through the sea of people. I got a glimpse of Alex; his faded red shirt and dark jeans catching my eye.
“Everyone go to class. Anyone left will get a Saturday detention.” Mr Doran’s was coarse and dry and his tone was sharp “Alex, Jasper; principal’s office. Now.”
He hustled everyone into the school and walked toward block F with the boys’ towering over him on either side.
I was amused, confused and concerned. For one, why the hell was Alex being taken to the principal’s office? He hasn’t gotten into a fight with anyone since 10th grade. Why did he get into a fight with Jasper anyway? Was there a fight at all? Was he hurt or was just an argument? So many questions in my head but no time to process or think about what just happened as I was rushed to double French in the language departments.
“Head to class. This has nothing to do with any of you.”
It was Alex’s voice; harsh and strict. The chant thinned out along with the crowd and I pushed my tiny body through the sea of people. I got a glimpse of Alex; his faded red shirt and dark jeans catching my eye.
“Everyone go to class. Anyone left will get a Saturday detention.” Mr Doran’s was coarse and dry and his tone was sharp “Alex, Jasper; principal’s office. Now.”
He hustled everyone into the school and walked toward block F with the boys’ towering over him on either side.
I was amused, confused and concerned. For one, why the hell was Alex being taken to the principal’s office? He hasn’t gotten into a fight with anyone since 10th grade. Why did he get into a fight with Jasper anyway? Was there a fight at all? Was he hurt or was just an argument? So many questions in my head but no time to process or think about what just happened as I was rushed to double French in the language departments.
I sat by the window; the seat beside me where Alex normally
sat was now occupied by Lithia Hayfield. Lithia’s a tall, tan girl from North
Carolina. She has a strange obsession with the colour purple. All her copy
books are purple, her bag, her pencil case; even the ends of her hair are purple.
Even though she’s slightly strange, Lithia’s nice.
The double passed by at a mind numbingly slow pace and everyone was grateful when the bell finally rang. Alex was waiting for me in our usual spot by the school entrance. He had a poppy bruise on his chin and his lip was split and slightly swollen.
“Alex, what the hell happened today? I saw you getting dragged to the principal’s office.” I stroked his bruise lightly with my thumb but he winced so I gave him a hug instead.
“It’s just a bruise, don’t worry about it.” He rested his chin on my head and swayed slightly. “Sorry I couldn’t spend time with you, it being your birthday and all.”
He pulled away and smiled apologetically “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
“It’s fine; just tell me what happened at lunch. I’m pretty confused.”
We walked over to his beat up Honda and I climbed into the passenger seat, chucking my bag on the floor and knocking over a can of beer in the process. I swore and picked it up but the can was dry; the contents already emptied. Alex just shrugged and said:
“I can have a beer once in a while, you know?”
“Yes, you can but this wasn’t here this morning, Alex.” I leaned in close and took a whiff of him. I hadn’t noticed before but, he smells of alcohol.
He rested his head on the steering wheel and looked over at me; his face squished by the wheel.
“Can we just drop it? Please?”
“Fine, just drive.”
He doesn’t trust me anymore. I don’t know, maybe he’s just really stressed out. He’ll tell me everything eventually, right?
I debated with myself in my about it for most of the drive home, since we didn’t talk this time either.
“Isla, stop sulking. I’ll sort this all out.”
He was saying it to me but I knew it was an empty promise.
“Is that why you got into a fight with Jasper?” I blurted.
“Is what why I got into a fight with Jasper?” he looked over at me and then back at road.
I picked up the can and pointed at it. He sighed and I scanned his face, reading his reaction.
“Yes and no. Just, stay away from that guy. He’s fucked up.” There was a hint of disgust in his voice. These two don’t even know each other yet they’re getting into fights? It’s so weird. This isn’t like Alex at all.
“He seems nice to me, but you? At the moment Alex you’re the one who seems fucked up. So, just tell me what’s wrong.”
“Isla, I told you to drop it. I’m fine.” We pulled into the complex parking lot and I got out the second he stopped the car.
“I don’t get it. Alex, you’re clearly not okay, yet you keep saying you are. There’s something on your mind that’s bothering you and you’re refusing to tell me.” Why am I so annoyed? Why am I raising my voice? “We promised, remember? If anything happens we’d tell each other!”
He just stared at me. Didn’t say a thing, just stared at me and stood there, leaning against the car bonnet. His expression was blank and it just pissed me off so much. Doesn’t he understand that I’m trying to help? Is he seriously that stubborn? He always tells me what’s wrong, what’s different this time?
“Whatever, Alex. I’ll see you later.” I walked off towards A-5 and I could feel his eyes on my back. I’m irritated, worried and upset all at the same time, feeling more alone than ever.
The double passed by at a mind numbingly slow pace and everyone was grateful when the bell finally rang. Alex was waiting for me in our usual spot by the school entrance. He had a poppy bruise on his chin and his lip was split and slightly swollen.
“Alex, what the hell happened today? I saw you getting dragged to the principal’s office.” I stroked his bruise lightly with my thumb but he winced so I gave him a hug instead.
“It’s just a bruise, don’t worry about it.” He rested his chin on my head and swayed slightly. “Sorry I couldn’t spend time with you, it being your birthday and all.”
He pulled away and smiled apologetically “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
“It’s fine; just tell me what happened at lunch. I’m pretty confused.”
We walked over to his beat up Honda and I climbed into the passenger seat, chucking my bag on the floor and knocking over a can of beer in the process. I swore and picked it up but the can was dry; the contents already emptied. Alex just shrugged and said:
“I can have a beer once in a while, you know?”
“Yes, you can but this wasn’t here this morning, Alex.” I leaned in close and took a whiff of him. I hadn’t noticed before but, he smells of alcohol.
He rested his head on the steering wheel and looked over at me; his face squished by the wheel.
“Can we just drop it? Please?”
“Fine, just drive.”
He doesn’t trust me anymore. I don’t know, maybe he’s just really stressed out. He’ll tell me everything eventually, right?
I debated with myself in my about it for most of the drive home, since we didn’t talk this time either.
“Isla, stop sulking. I’ll sort this all out.”
He was saying it to me but I knew it was an empty promise.
“Is that why you got into a fight with Jasper?” I blurted.
“Is what why I got into a fight with Jasper?” he looked over at me and then back at road.
I picked up the can and pointed at it. He sighed and I scanned his face, reading his reaction.
“Yes and no. Just, stay away from that guy. He’s fucked up.” There was a hint of disgust in his voice. These two don’t even know each other yet they’re getting into fights? It’s so weird. This isn’t like Alex at all.
“He seems nice to me, but you? At the moment Alex you’re the one who seems fucked up. So, just tell me what’s wrong.”
“Isla, I told you to drop it. I’m fine.” We pulled into the complex parking lot and I got out the second he stopped the car.
“I don’t get it. Alex, you’re clearly not okay, yet you keep saying you are. There’s something on your mind that’s bothering you and you’re refusing to tell me.” Why am I so annoyed? Why am I raising my voice? “We promised, remember? If anything happens we’d tell each other!”
He just stared at me. Didn’t say a thing, just stared at me and stood there, leaning against the car bonnet. His expression was blank and it just pissed me off so much. Doesn’t he understand that I’m trying to help? Is he seriously that stubborn? He always tells me what’s wrong, what’s different this time?
“Whatever, Alex. I’ll see you later.” I walked off towards A-5 and I could feel his eyes on my back. I’m irritated, worried and upset all at the same time, feeling more alone than ever.
